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New Zealandball
New Zealandball |nativename = Aotearoapōro |image = 6UoMc4F.png|imagewidth = |caption = New Zealand and his children|gender = Male|reality = |government = Constitutional monarchy|personality = Friendly, Peaceful, Smart-arse, Warrior, British puppet|type = Austronesian, Germanic|language = English (de facto official) Māori (official)|religion = Christianity (47.5%) Atheism (42%) Hinduism (2%) Buddhism (1.5%) Islam (1%) Others/Unknown At 6% |friends = Father Eldest Bro Bro And BF Another Bro (Eh?) Curry Who Runs My Shops Earthquake Friend My Fathers Best Friend Mountain Buddies Commonwealthball NATOball ASEANball Founders file:iceland-icon.png file:Switzerland-icon.png European Versons Of Us Sheep Friends Bagpipes My Natives My Childrens Micronesiaball Spainish Cousin Adoptive nephew Half Bro Muslim Poland Om Telolet om! Soccer Rival Rugby Rival Kiaball Toyotaball Tringapore Mercedesball Franceball (Mostly) Argentinaball Chinaball Legoball (We Both Can Into less Corruption) Turk Remover |enemies = Fucking Fake Korea HE TOLD TOKELAU TO CHANGE HIS FLEG Rainbow Warrior Bombers (Formerly) Apartheidball Fijiball Islamic State Of Goat F*ckers We Fought Him In WW1 (Formerly) |founded = 1840|predecessor = |successor = |likes = Kiwis, sheeps, gumboots, rugby, pies, fish & chips, peacekeeping, farming, Fonterra, LOTR, The Hobbit, Maori Culture, hunting, fishing, Aussie/kiwi rock and metal, the bush, sniper rifles, marmite, weetbix, adventures, Lorde|hates = Certain sheep stereotypes, nuclear weapons, Being Mistaken For Australia, When People Talk S*it About Me, Being Irritant & Forgotten, Australiaball stealing my shit and naming it his, Chinese tourists, EARTHQUAKES! |intospace = Yes!http://www.stuff.co.nz/business/84299891/New-Zealand-space-industry-prepared-for-takeoff|status = I discovered that I'm my own continent !!!!|notes = |capital = Wellingtonball|Bork = Zealandia Zealandia Kiwiana Kiwiana Food = Pavlova, fish & chips, pies, L&P, pineapple lumps, ANZAC Biscuits, Weetbix, Afgan Biscuits, hangi, Whittakers Chocolate, chocolate fish, lamington squares, Beer, tea, vegemarmite|military = Modern|onlypredecessor = British New Zealandball|predicon = New Zealand}}"Oi mate I think we landed on the wrong beach" ''- New Zealand moments before getting shot at Gallipoli '''New Zealandball '''is a countryball southeast of Australiaball. He is the son and former colony of UKball and the brother of Australiaball, Canadaball, and USAball. He has a pet kiwi and is known for the Lord of the Rings film and being the Adventure Capital of the World, he has 3 children, Niue, Tokelau, and the Cook Islands. Even though New Zealand is known for being a peaceful, caring nation, he used to be can be a fierce warrior and a sheep shagger. So if you mess with him, he will drop you. He is one of UKball's favorite former-colonies. However UK despises his sheep, the fact he respects minorities, and gives his natives (Maoriball) rights And Also Was The First Country In The World To Give Woman The right To Vote (1893). He often gets mixed up with Australiaball. He planned to change his flag but people preferred the original flag. He likes giving his places long names, including the second-longest place name in the world: Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenua kitanatahuball, with 97 letters, beating Walesball's 58 letter name Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgog-erychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochball to become the longest place name in the world. Despite the fact that New Zealandball is now an adult and fully independent countryball, he still has the Union Jack in his body. This is a neotenic trait. Neoteny in animals is the retention, in adulthood, of characteristics typical of its young or larval form (in the case of countryballs its colonial forms). New Zealand can usually be found hanging out with Australia. History Pre Colonization Some time in the 12th century, the Maori, the first inhabitants of New ZealandBall, lived on a series of small islands called PolynesiaBall after sailing from Africa. Unfortunately, they began to run low on food supplies and set sail in search of new land, and after months of sailing they landed on what was the coast of New Zealand. They decided to settle down on this land for what they looked like a big cloud. They thought it was a good omen, so they eventually settled down there, and took care of its natural beauty and resources. They collected fruit, fishing, and hunting large birds. Later on, they started to grow vegetables. by 1500, the Maoris became very warlike. They prayed to their dead ancestors, since they thought some of them are sacred. These sacred people are called "tapu", or taboo. European arrival In 1642 Netherlandsball was sailing across the Pacific Ocean, when he sighted land, but before he came ashore he was attacked by Maoriball and quickly left. In 1769 Englandball landed on shore and made peaceful contact with Maoriball, and after the French arrived. New Zealand's had rich resources, so he sold wood for ships and garden produce in trade for muskets which unfortunately broke out in many musket wars between Maori tribes. Colonization In the 18th century, UKball was getting quite worried about the land he had taken from the Maori and the fear Franceball might annex New Zealand, so in 1840 he got Maoriball to sign the Treaty of Waitangi which gave him full control of New Zealand and also made it compulsory for New Zealand to fight alongside UKball. New Zealandball was born. He then proved to UKball his loyalty to him by helping him fight South Africa in the boer war, and UKball was very impressed with how well he was fighting. NZ did feel good for helping his dad but was heartbroken over the fact that the UK made him burn the South African villages and farms, and was very sympathetic towards them. He also was the first to reach the summit of Mt Everest with Nepal, one of his proudest achievements. World War I As soon as Britain declared war on German Empireball, New Zealandball found himself fighting in Europe. In 1915 New Zealandball teamed with his brother Australiaball to form the ANZACS, and went to war against Ottoman Empireball. Unfortunately on the day of the attack he landed on the wrong beach and was shot. Nuclear-Free New Zealand So, in the Second World War when USA was getting ready to fight the Japanese Empire, NZ let him stay on his clay in return for protection from Japan. USA and NZ became good friends because of this. Then in the late 1950's USA started testing nukes in the Pacific near NZ, which led to other countries such as Britain and France to start testing nukes around that area. New Zealand went ballistic-freaking-ape-hell over the fact that they were destroying the small islands living in the Pacific Ocean, and successfully stopped testing of nuclear weapons in the Pacific. France was pissed about this and decided to blow up the ship that was responsible for this. The Rainbow Warrior. France blew up the ship and New Zealand was deeply saddened to see his beautiful ship bombed. He then took France to court and forced him to pay 10 million dollars, banned all nuclear ships from entering NZ docks, much to USA's dismay as he tried to dock his nuclear subs and was forced away every single time. New Zealand is also one of the safest countries in the world. Accomplishments *Became The First Country In The World To Introduce The 8 Hour Working Day (1850s) * Being The First Country In The World To give Woman The Right To vote. All Thanks To One Woman Named Kate Sheppard. (1893) *A New Zealander, Sir Ernest Rutherford, was The First Person In History To Split The Atom (1910) *invented Pavlova in the Late 1910s to early 1920s But Australia Claims it as His Own *In 1953, A New Zealander, Edmond Hillary, With A Nepali, Tenzing Norgay. Were The First people Ever To Reach The Top Of The Worlds Tallest Mountain, Mt Everest. *Invented The Jetboat, electric fence, hypodermic needle and Tranquiliser rifle...and eggbeater *Best in The World At Rugby *Invented Bungee Jumping In The 80s *Made The Lord Of The Rings And The Hobbit Movies, Which Had Recieved Widespread Critical Acclaim And The LOTR Having Some Of Most Oscars, Equaling That To Ben Hur And Titanic *One Of The Few Country's In The World To Give Full Rights To His Natives (Maoriballs) And Also Celebrates Their Traditions And As Well As Learning Their Native language (Maori) Being taught In Most Schools *Tested The Worlds First high Speed Amphibious (2016) *Can into Least Corrupt Nation on Earth Tied With Denmarkball *Literally gave Birth to Adventure Tourism *A New Zealander, Richard Pearse, Actually Invented The Powered Flight FIRST (8 Months before The Wright Brothers In 1903) But He Sadly Didn't Make History Because He Did Not Invite Officials To Document This Moment, And The Fact That Nobody Gave A S*it About His Achievement Relationships Friends New Zealand is a multi-cultural country, so unless you piss me off, you're a friend. But here are some of my best mates. *Anglos - The Anglo countryballs are muh mates. *# UKball - My father. I share some cultural history with the old fart, but I now have a unique cultural identity and accent. Also the bloody Pom who can't play rugby to save his life. However he loves me for keeping my Union Jack, and my loyalty to him. *# Australiaball - My more famous brother that everyone mistakes me as. We have a sibling rivalry, and also fought together as the Anzac's in World War 1. Stop stealing my dishes and celebrities you unoriginal c***! Bowls like a bloody idiot, I WILL NEVER FORGET 1981. Still love you dearly, though <3. Ya wanker. *# Canadaball - We both say 'eh', but Canadaball is more stereotyped for it. We are both overshadowed by our siblings, and we both share being equally nice! Except for when i'm drunk. Then we as good as gold! *# USAball - The shining star of the siblings. I had a good trade with USA, After I Let his Solders crash into my Country During The Second World War but after I refused to let him park his nuclear ships in my waters, he hasn't been talking to me that much. So you have some refugees, eh? Well, I will welcome them. Do they know I am home to Lord of the Rings. If you don't like how it is in America, move in to Middle Earth me! * Maoriball - I maintain a peaceful relationship with my native inhabitants. This is probably why he is irrelevant, aside from his geographic location. 7% of New Zealandball speaks Maori, while 90% speak English. If only he'd shut up about that land Britain stole... * Nepalrawr - Me & Nepal were the first to reach the top of Mt. Everest * Commonwealthball - Who is that bloke again? * NATOball - If I were located in the North Atlantic And Not The South Pacific, Then Yes, I Would Join You. (I'm Currently His Mayor Non NATO Ally Though) * Micronesiaball - I own most of your islands * South Koreaball - Good friends with them. Apparently he is a sworn enemy with North Koreaball, so South Koreaball is our Mate. Also Thanks For The Samsung. * Netherlandsball - was the first European explorer of my clay, and also gave me my name! Until the Maori's killed him for some reason. IDK why. Hungry? * Portugalball - My Fathers Best Friend. Would Like To Know him A bit More * Chileball - Gave me wheat during the gold rush. We Also have A common Thing: EARTHQUAKES! * Indiaball - Adoptive Brother. He Makes A Mean As Curry, top sh*t. A Great Cricket Player Too * South Africaball - Me and him had a fight about his apartheid, but we're on good terms. Probably the only one who is a challenge to beat in rugby. * Brazilball - A Mean As Player At Football. Lots Of HUE Aye? * Englandball - Won't admit I'm better at rugby & cricket? hmm. * Walesball - Probably the only person who understands sheep like I do. He Is Also My Husband * Scotlandball - That one Uncle I Have With The Bagpipes that highly Influenced Dunedin. Couldn't Into Independence Sadly. * Germanyball - My Uncle. I Once found and built a bike in my garage and won the Daytona! The Krauts face when a bike I built from parts I found in a tip beat his "superior German engineering"! And Give Mercedes. * Chinaball - Biggest Trading Partner. Many Chinese Tourists Visit Me. By crikey, your tourists are annoying, and your shops aren't much better either. Oh And learn How To Drive Too! And Please Keep Buying My exports I need The Money. Basically you're A Part Of Me For Your Fish N Chip shops, And Chinese Restaurants. * Japanball - We Give Them Our Dairy Products And They Give Us Their Cars * Argentinaball - Likes to come over and pick my fruit and bring it back to his land but i don't mind. * Tringapore - Economic trading partners * Switzerlandball And Icelandball - European Versions Of Us, We Both Can Into Mountains And Neutrality. (And Switzerland Please Give Me Some Of Your Best Chocolate) * Malaysiaball - Half Brother. And Good Trading Partners * Serbiaball - Helped Him In WW1 Fighting Kebab Together With Australia. He Also Won The U-20 in 2015 hosted by me. But I Recognize Kosovo, So Were Fine. * Niueball, Tokelauball, And Cook Islandsball: My Regions Children, I Will Always Protect You, And Should I give You 3 Independence? Or I'll Just Annex And kill Of All 3 Of You Instead * Denmarkball - We Both Can Into Being The Least Corrupt Nations In the World. Neutral/former Enemy * Franceball - Relations Were Tense In 1985 When She Bombed My Greenpeace Ship in 1985 But She Later Apologized To Me And We Are Now Currently Good Friends (All Though I'm Still A Bit Grumbly Sometimes) We Are Also Rivals At Rugby. I Narrowly Beat Her In The Rugby World Cup In 2011! Take That Frenchie! * Turkeyball - Australia And I (ANZACS) Fought Him As The Ottoman Empire During The First World War, But We Both Retreated Away From Him Because He Was The Mean As Player. Today, He Now Lets Aussie And I Perform Memorial Services At Gallipoli. Lest We Forget, Mate. Cunts/Enemies * North Koreaball - Apparently he read ''The Crysalids novel, realised New Zealand (erroneously Sealand) still exists after a nuclear holocaust, and threaten Me with a nuclear strike DON'T YOU DARE LAUNCH MISSLES TO MY BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY FAKE KOREA. BECAUSE IF YOU DO, I WILL END YOU BESIDES, I'M ALREADY FREE FROM NUKES! * Bosnia and Herzegovinaball - HOW DARE YOU TELL TOKELAUBALL TO GO CHANGE HIS FLAG, FUK YOU * Fijiball - Relations Went Rocky When He Got Made With Me After I Didn't Help Him In A Coup That Overthrew Their Former Government. He Also Accused Me For Spying On Him. I Never Did Okay! * Japanese Empireball - Bugger ya c***! If you even dare bomb my beautiful clay I will bloody come over there and shove the biggest piece of- wait she's dead now? Or is she Japanball in the past. * Ottoman Empireball - Look mate, I pretty much only fought against you because I was dumped into that war. And also because my dad thinks he can beat everything by throwing countries at it. * Union of South Africaball - NEVER FORGET 1981! REMOVE APARTHEI - Oh Wait He Did. Stereotypes * One stereotype of New Zealand is that it doesn't exist. New Zealand is a country that is routinely distorted on maps, often being situated on one certain corner, or occasionally not situated anywhere at all. * One stereotype is that New Zealand is 'where men are men, and so are the women'. For being masculine. * Another is that New Zealand speaks a strange language. * New Zealand is stereotyped for being the best in the world at rugby. And why wouldn't we be? We won the world cup three times! * Lord of the Rings. Enough said. * New Zealand is also known for being the reason that the small islands are not being annexed, in fact New Zealand pretty much decide whether they live or die, as he is one of the countries that actually give a crap about them. * BUSH RECEPTION. Even internet. * Auckland Vs. Rest of New Zealand. Aucklanders are seen as rich snobs or immigrants. The rest of NZ are thought of as Farmers, Bush people or Bogans. Gallery c9M9WyH.png CrkaFEj.png.jpg|New Zealand as a soldier. Borkpocalipse stralia 2.png Borkpocalipse stralia.png 12011381 698879310212507 3560145737896706771 n.png Guess country with poland 5.png Eh.png|new Zealand's flag is based of the UK's flag so canada wanted to ask why he wont change flag W63Le8Q.png SW8sMV3.png Wait your my capital?.jpg New Zealand's Occupation of Samoa.png West Coastball (New Zealand).png 28bw7iw2298x.png zq9qpnk.jpg Polandball community by tringapore-d7m55l1.png 9NMAnPW.png EJNxCYw.png YXlC2Mk.png VoNkUek.png 'nzJ9Gj0.png 693981472199320720.png Screen Shot 2015-07-06 at 1.54.06 pm.png A1RYxXw.png Screen Shot 2015-06-28 at 12.41.56 pm.png Screen Shot 2015-07-26 at 10.48.21 am.png EtyUWPx.png G3lhIR1.png Sele_Polandball.png Polandball_squad.png Club_internacional_Polandball.png Familia_de_countryballs.png Da_Polandball_crew.png 7COgkZP.png Links *Facebook page Category:Commonwealth Category:Homosex Lovers Category:English Speaking Countryball Category:Oceania Category:Pacific Ocean Category:Indigenous Category:Rich Category:Death Penalty Removers Category:New Zealand Category:Monarchy Category:Christian Category:Earthquake Category:Austronesian Category:Questioning flag Category:Independent Category:Irrelevant Category:Relevant Category:Wine Category:Islands Category:Island Countryball Category:Former British Colonies Category:Fragmented Category:Former UK Colonies Category:Peace lovers Category:First World Countries Category:Prorupted Category:OECD Members Category:Maori Speaking Countryball Category:Maori Category:Archipelago Category:Pro Israel Category:Sovereign Stateballs Category:Sniper Category:Zealandia Category:Atheist Category:Middle Power Category:Elongated Category:Gay Category:Volcano Category:Christian Lovers Category:Christian Lover Category:Ring of fire Category:Southern hemisphere Category:Multiethnic Category:UK commonwealth countries